Denada, mamja Emilisë , sfidon Autizmin e së bijës duke sjellë në jetë djem binjakë në ditën ndërkombëtare të Autizmit. (EN)

Denada Çapi: Autism is not a tragedy, the ignorance is!

Emili, a 7 year old girl from Durrës and one of the many children of the Regional Center for Autism in Farka, has delivered a strong message to her parents. With only two years of therapy she has surprised everyone about the progress she has made ; not only did she turned down the speculations if one day she will be a normal child, but encouraged her parents to open their heart and arms to two new lives just to challenge this April 2. Denada Çapi, the heroine and courageous Emili’s mother, on the eve of World Autism Awareness Day and just a few days before she brings to life these 2 angels, shares with us the successes of Emili and enthusiasm of becoming a mother for the third time and these time double.

How is Emili improving? How is she today?

We meet again after a year. I would say that this year has been a different innovation for Emili. Emili has had many progresses, has made greater steps compared to a year ago. She began to speak, to make sentences and above all understand, that for me this is the most important. That means she has progressed immensely. She has changed a lot from year to year.

Have you expected this immense change to Emili?

No! No! I had not expected it. Because I had read a lot and had the idea that as soon as it was diagnosed it was better and later diagnosed fewer results. But everything turned out differently. Although Emili was diagnosed a bit late because she began therapy at the Albanian Children Foundation only at age of 5, yet she has achieved a lot.

Do you feel satisfied that every effort you made for your daughter is being rewarded by Emili?

A lot. First of all I thank God from the bottom of my heart. When Emily was born, maybe not every mother would accept it. I became a little selfish and hypocrite. I began asking myself: Why I? Why me? But seeing Emili, the outstanding work that is done with Emili and it has given its fruits, today I thank God from the bottom of my heart. If someone would ask to go back to the second pregnancy to choose another child, sincerely, I swear that would never chose another child. I would chose Emili again!

Meanwhile, we have news from you. Emili will soon have two brothers and your family will extend. Was this a difficult decision for you?

These boys have really been a surprise. It was unplanned. It was as emotional in terms of panic as well as in terms of a new adventure, but I believe it will be full of love. Personally, I was just a little bit afraid, but positively. While my husband and other family members a little bit more afraid. I do not blame them for this. But today we are quiet. We can’t wait for the babies but the person who could hardly wait is Emili. Emilia has made us all to welcome these children with so much love and we imagine that two younger brothers will be good to her too.

Usually, we have noticed that when there have been born children as in the case of Emily, parents deterred other pregnancies. It was not your case. You got over your will and fate.

I would like to say to all the mothers who have a child with problem, such as that of autism, or health, social, economic problems, etc., a child is a blessing, a blessing from God and helps in the process of family happiness. This is very important. Many see this initiative as a hard venture, another one is surprised. Although they do not express it, but the way they see me, it seems like they say me two things: is she heroine or crazy?! I think none of them. It is simply the desire of a mother. Taking into consideration the joy the first two girls brought to me, two boys would bring even greater joy.

Why did you choose to bring to life these children on April 2?

Yes! I wanted so, to bring to life on April 2. The reason is great. As this day is World Autism Awareness Day, as a mother I would like spiritually and emotionally, to make a protest, primarily within myself, then tell everyone that although various diseases affect people, or different problems affect our health, we are still here, we are regenerating. This is a kind of challenge. A gentle challenge to reality because life goes on.  And what’s most beautiful than two little angels coming to life! Whatever these two angels will be, I accept my fate again.

What is your message on World Autism Awareness Day?

I will deliver my message not only to mothers who have an autistic children, also to all people. Symbolically referring to the pea that Albanian Children Foundation has chosen for Autism, where a grain is small, another is soft, another grain might be strong, I would first say to mothers: Patience!  We must accept our fate and not oppose it. Not complain why it happened to me, but how would I handle it. The moment that the mother accepts the fact that I have a health problem with my child, I’m sure that everything will later go better.

Strongest message will go to fathers. For me, a mother who has an autistic child, is the heroine, because she must leave everything aside, herself, home and other children to take care of the autistic child, educate and integrate him. I deliver this message to fathers for more motivation, kindness and help first towards their wives, mothers of their children and their children. If they do not understand us, there is no one else who can understands us.

I thank all the people who stand by me, that understand me; I thank those that understand Emili and would like this awareness be extended in the entire country, because Ignorance is tragedy. Autism is not any tragedy.

Durrës, April 2014